6 Tips to Survive Holiday Stress as a Couple

Dec 4

According to the Canadian Mental Health Association, more than half of Canadians feel anxious, lonely, and down during the holidays. For couples who already feel they have too much on their plate, the holiday season can feel both joyful and overwhelming. For instance, if you're a blended family with stepchildren, the holidays may be especially challenging—from coordinating schedules and deciding how much time each parent spends with their children to which family traditions to follow or how to connect with stepchildren.

Moreover, grief or trauma memories can quietly resurface during this season, making it even harder to stay grounded. What matters most is that you and your partner approach holiday stress as a team, with kindness toward yourselves and each other.

6 Strategies to Survive Stress During Holidays as a Couple

Our therapists at Williamson & Associates Counselling in Olds, Alberta, share six strategies to help you not just survive but even thrive as a couple this holiday season.

1. Make Time for Each Other

After getting the kids to bed, finishing up last-minute work projects, and wrapping presents, it's natural to feel drained. But carving out some "just us" time is super important. Regular date nights—even if it's without leaving home—can really strengthen your connection.

Don't forget to schedule your "sex dates," too, to keep the spark alive and stay emotionally connected! Also, take time to check in with each other. Just sitting by the fireplace and appreciating what you love about each other matters. According to Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist and relationship expert, ’turning toward’ each other helps build a strong relationship. Every supportive moment adds to your 'emotional bank account,' making it easier to handle stress together.

2. Set Boundaries with Family and Social Obligations

The pressure to navigate relationships with extended family during the holidays can leave couples feeling stretched too thin. It's okay to say 'no' or set limits. For example, if visiting both sets of parents on Christmas Day feels overwhelming, consider alternating years or hosting a gathering on neutral ground. Focus on what works for you instead of trying to please everyone else. Politely but firmly communicate your boundaries to family members. This helps clarify expectations and establish communication limits. It's okay to say 'no' to events, gatherings, or gift exchanges that feel overwhelming and instead prioritize what truly matters to you both. Prioritize your relationship and your well-being over external expectations.

3. Plan Your Holiday Budget Together

We all know very well how financial stress can cause tension in relationships, especially during the holidays, as this time is particularly challenging for people's bank accounts. With gift-giving, travel, and events, expenses can quickly spiral. You may argue daily about overspending, torn between wanting to make the holidays special and staying within your budget, which can leave both of you feeling frustrated and disconnected.

Instead of buying each other lavish gifts, make a list of meaningful, cost-effective activities you could enjoy together to create a shared sense of purpose and feel more connected.

4. Share Your Vulnerabilities, Not Just Frustrations

During the holidays, stress can heighten emotions like anger or resentment. Still, these often mask primary emotions like sadness, longing, or fear. Instead of reacting with frustration when your partner forgets to do something, try sharing the deeper feeling underneath. For instance, you might say, "I felt hurt when you didn't help with the holiday prep because I was hoping we'd do it together. I feel comforted when we work as a team." When you share vulnerability like this, it invites empathy. It deepens your emotional connection, making it easier to support each other during challenging moments.

5. Treat Each Other and Yourself with Compassion

Approach your partner and yourself with compassion. Instead of reacting with frustration when plans go wrong, take a moment to breathe and remind yourself that everyone's doing their best. Recognize that beneath the surface frustrations, you and your partner likely have deeper emotions driving your reactions—like fear of letting each other down or longing to feel valued. When you acknowledge these emotions with kindness, you create a safe emotional space where you can feel understood, supported, and less alone in managing holiday stress.

6. Explore Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)

If holiday stress is getting to you, talking to a therapist can help. Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) helps couples feel understood and connected during this busy time. Instead of bottling up feelings, let your partner know your feelings; for example, "I'm anxious about seeing everyone this weekend. Can we take a few minutes before we go to check in with each other?" EFCT helps you connect and create a safe space for sharing stress, which is crucial during the holidays.

From Feeling Stressed to Feeling Connected: Manage Holiday Stress as a Team with EFCT

The holidays don't have to be perfect to be meaningful. But if you find it too challenging, EFCT at Williamson & Associates Counselling in Alberta is here to help. Therapy during holidays can provide the tools you need to manage the season's challenges and come out stronger together.

Ready to turn holiday stress into an opportunity for a deeper connection? Contact us today to explore how EFCT at Williamson & Associates Counselling in Alberta can help you and your partner create a secure, supportive, and unshakable bond.

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See other posts about Couples Counselling in Olds, Alberta:

Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)Couples Counselling

Williamson & Associates

Williamson & Associates Individual, Couple & Family Counselling in Olds, Alberta, offering support and whole family care with mental health, trauma and relationship challenges.